'Twas The Year Before Christmas (1996)

'Twas the year before Christmas

Nineteen Ninety-Six.

It's been a good year,

And I've learned some new tricks.

I quit ISI

And, later, joined Maximizer.

The time in between

Made me poorer and wiser!

I now do sales support

In the South and East Coast.

My software's the best!

(But I don't want to boast.)

I went on a diet

That did not know any bounds.

I struggled and starved

And lost ninety pounds.

I work out a lot
And put less on my plate.
I'm slimmer and trimmer...
I really feel great.

I left my apartment

For a house that's so cool.

It's got lots of space,

A big yard and a pool.

I'm living with friends

Named Christy and Sonny.

We're having a blast

And spending serious money!

I went back to Camp Jeep

Just outside of Vail.

I biked and rode horses

And hiked a long trail.

I motored up mountains

And then down below.

There was only one place

That my truck couldn't go...

I drove through some water

That didn't look very deep.

And yet within minutes

There was a lake in my Jeep!

My Jeep has dried out now,

So I'm driving long miles

To be home with my family

And friends for a while.

May your holidays be happy

And the new year care-free.

If you're in Dayton when I am,

The drinks are on me!