Attention all dogs and cats

The following should be posted very low on the refrigerator door... preferably at nose height:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that the least bit aesthetically pleasing.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Believe it or not, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years... canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat. I cannot stress this enough.

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (You can't spell "furniture" without "fur".)
3. I like my pets a lot more than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

A virtual disruption

From Anders Bylund of The Motley Fool:

IT research firm Gartner recently published its top 10 list of "disruptive technologies" for the next five years. They disrupt because they are advances that are most likely to change our lives in the near future, which strongly appeals to the Rule Breaker investor in me. Changing the world usually leads to big profits -- and happy investors.

Virtual insanity

Of the 10 disrupters on the list, perhaps the biggest business opportunity lies in virtual computing. This technique is driving or aiding a couple of other disruptive technologies. Multicore processors are more effective when you can cut them up into several virtual machines, and cloud computing becomes both cheaper and more reliable when the software cloud runs on a virtual hardware cloud.

VMware (NYSE: VMW) created the market with virtual server systems that let IT managers divide and recombine their hardware assets in new ways. Managing pools of processors, memory, and storage is a far more flexible and efficient approach than setting up a physical server for every business need, and the technology is changing all the rules for managing data centers.

A revolution like that naturally attracts competition like kids to an ice cream truck. Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) and Citrix Systems (Nasdaq: CTXS) both have competing products on the market. Server manufacturers like IBM (NYSE: IBM), Hewlett-Packard (NYSE: HPQ), and Sun Microsystems are building virtual server management features into their big iron, too. Some of that works with VMware; other parts compete directly with the company's hardware.

VMware itself was snapped up by data storage giant EMC (NYSE: EMC) for a measly $635 million in 2003. Four years later, EMC spun its baby back onto the public market, netting $957 million in the IPO -- for just 15% of the virtualization pioneer.

The Foolish takeaway
If Gartner is right -- and I can't see how it could be wrong this time -- then virtual servers will be the de facto standard in five years. Data centers will run on fewer pieces of server hardware, pushing down the cost of machines as well as the need to cool down and power up all of that silicon.

Enterprise servers make up around $14 billion of the worldwide market per quarter, and grabbing a share of the revenue from each machine sold is a major growth opportunity. On top of that, you have service contracts for all of that software.

The virtual server market is still in its infancy and growing like dandelions in full sun. And while MS Virtual Server or Citrix XenServer certainly have their followers and could grow into serious contenders one day, this race is market-leader VMware's to win or lose.

Having a big party or just a small penis?

I can't decide if the guy who buys this is cool or just compensating for something.

From GearCrave: It may not look pretty, but hell– this thing ain’t meant to look pretty. Its meant to rip through ice cubes, mint leaves, liquor and sugar to make the ultimate gas-powered man mohito. This Gas Powered Party Blender uses a 43cc 2-stroke engine, motorcycle handlebars and a solid metal frame to run an 85 oz. stainless steel blender. With just the twist of a wrist, you’re churning up cocktails with the power of a minibike, the growl of a chain saw. Just for fun, you can take your better half’s cutesy little blender and toss that sucker into this one. Will it blend? $275